June 16, 2005
Thursday, 9:51 p.m. EDT. I'm sipping on a Jameson's and listening to Loretta Lynn's latest CD, a Fathers Day gift from Sasha and Dex. I spent a couple of hours this evening flying solo with Daisy and Gracie (Will's daughters) and managed to keep them off each other's case with the help of my guitar and a voice recorder. Nothing like a good recording groove to stave off sibling hostility, I can tell ya. Gracie, the younger of the two, is clearly the more aggressive, and takes on a confrontational attitude much of the time, as four-year-olds can do. As a parent I can see these confrontations heating up and can usually diffuse them before they boil over. I expect this kind of behavior from children, but what boggles my mind is seeing it indulged by adults on the streets of New York.
Usually it'll occur between pedestrians and the news peddlers, as both Julia and I have witnessed. She was late for Monday's rehearsal on account of a couple of grown-up four-year-olds who halted a subway shuttle with their bitchfest. And I myself had to face off with one of these types in a restaurant in Times Square a couple of weeks ago. I was standing near the bar looking at the beer menu, making up my mind, when a fellow on a barstool turned to me.
"Hey man, are you gonna stand there or are you gonna sit down somewhere?" he demanded.
"Uhh...I think I'll go sit down." I moved over to where Will was standing.
"I don't like people standing behind me," he continued. No problem, dude. But moving on wasn't enough.
"You don't understand," he continued. "I don't like people standing behind me! Are y'all gonna sit down?"
"We're over here now," I assured him, hoping he'd realize that his aura was no longer threatened and lighten up. He didn't.
"Hey, c'mover here!"
Now I had to act. I walked toward him, looked him in the eye, held up two fingers and declared: "We Are At Peace!"
He backed down, disarmed and a little baffled. My Jedi mojo had worked. All he wanted after that was to know where on earth I was from. At that point I realized he was nothing more than a lonesome fellow starving for attention, as most of them are.
I shared my adventure with the cast, who got a kick out of it and now have a new catch phrase. Will was impressed that I could keep my cool so easily in such a feather-ruffling situation. But I figure if I'm gonna work every day in the theatre to conjure up John Lennon, I oughta be prepared to do his will out in the real world. It's easy if you try.